the perplexing, dreaded "D" word.

I do not date.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine on the principles of my theory on dating.

It goes something like this: I think I am better off alone, and with the fact that I am moving out of South Florida, it seems kind of pointless to be investing time into the dating world. Besides the fact that everyone that I have gone on dates with in the last year (with the exclusion of one or two), has not understood my principle points in the Dating Alex Game. I have had a set of guidelines in this game (because as much as I hate to admit it, it is a game).I am also kind of existentialist when it comes to dating: I never really saw that point. Just someone to fill up the feeling of emptiness in one's life. I don't know.

So here are the Guidelines to the few who get passed date one:
Guideline 1) I don't expect you to pay for everything if we do go out on dates (shocking I know)
Guideline 2) This is supposed to be fun; it is NOT going to be something serious
Guideline 3) Do NOT try to make me your girlfriend; reference guideline 2
Guideline 4) Please do not be clingy. I don't really like public affection.
Guideline 5)Just because we are casually dating, does not mean we will be fooling around.

Seems simple enough right? Not so much.
Back to the discussion. My friend was questioning my principles and asking for a reasoning behind it. Obviously looking for the usual reasonings: ex- boyfriends, broken heart, etc. When really it is about me. But our conversation got me thinking because I said, "My principles are pretty steadfast, but like everything else, they are subject to change; I just haven't found someone worth making that change. I will deal with that when I get to it though."
His response, "maybe because you are only dating guys that provide no possibility of a future and you avoid those who could, or turn them into friends." WHOA!
Do I do this? When I look at the last year, some of them could hold intelligent conversations; others were not very smart. I do find a number of the same immature, self involved, image crazed guys all in different forms: the tool, the hipster, the crazy one, the hippy, and several of the nerdy; but they all seem to care about the same things. Not all of them were like this, but I found reasons to not take it further than a couple of dates; too clingy (which I hate anyway; see guideline 4), too this or not enough that. I have been rolling this over in my head for a few weeks now, and I can not decide on a conclusion.

Do I fall into the norm I have been fighting for so long, and actually take a chance. Or do I stick to my guns? or do I wait until I move?
Other question this conversation left me with: Why am I so against dating (in a typical fashion) in the first place? Why do I have to be in control? Is dating a game of control? I have seen some relationships where people have completely lost themselves to their partners; shut out friends, became completely involved in that one small aspect of their life. A relationship be about balace; I should be able to hang out with my friends without you calling/texting me; trust your companion. Do I trust anyone enough to form some sort of trust based union of sorts?

What has pushed this a little whirlwind thought process a little further was a conversation I had with my mother about children; I said I was too selfish and didn't think I would make a good mother because of my need for my space and all the things I want to do in life. She asked, "what if you fall in love and he wants children?" and I said, "I have no intention of falling in love, but if I do I am supposed to compromise myself for a man because he wants kids, and it is my 'feminine duty'?" she just shook her head and said, "that hurts." Damn.

In the end, I guess I just needed to rant a bit and see where my brain goes on this one, but it does not seem as though it went very far. Dating is a tricky business. Hm. Enjoy.